Gross!
What the hell!
Are we here to work, or is this a shooting range?
Fucking retards.
You just keep on playing-
-and I'll stand here like some moron and stuff the fish.
Nag, nag, nag. Always somebody spoiling the fun. Fuck you.
Fucking hell.
BABA'S CARS
Voilà.
Jojo!
Hi, honey.
-Hungry? -Mmm.
What has he cooked today...?
Hello, my little butterflies...
Fish.
But... You like fish.
Sure, but not the same thing every day.
I'm not a cat, you know. -It's not the same. It's char with salt.
-Yesterday, we had perch soup. -I know!
You do nothing but go fishing. Different kinds every day, I know.
Try net fishing instead, then you'd have time to get a real job.
I don't like net fishing.
We were only going to stay here for a while...
'Til you got a job.
I had a job, at Baba's. You told me to quit.
And what a great job that was!
Dad and his stupid "bizniz".
You shouldn't have to risk your life just because you're going to work.
I hate that damn fatso.
-But you like me a little bit? -A little bit.
I hate this faucet.
Nothing in this shitty house ever works!
And what happened to that useless car that you bought?
You said you'd fix it. We said we'd go to...
...Paris.
The Eiffel Tower.
-I'll fix it. I promise. -Don't make any promises. Just do it.
I don't want to waste my life in some crappy shack in the middle of nowhere.
Eleena, my love...
What do you think will happen if I don't pay Ilja?
Will you sell your body?
If you didn't give your money to some "ghost", we'd have a good life.
Ilja's not a ghost, and he's not happy yet.
I'll give him my precious Cadillac, and then we're even.
Here, you want some?
Fuck you and your sausages!
Eleena, my darling...
Don't you ever dare throw away the food that I put on the table.
That's no way for a nice girl to behave, now is it?
If you hit me one more time, I'm out of here. I mean it!
Ah, you're back. Good.
I need to go away for a couple of days for some business.
-What shall we do with the delivery? -His credit is finished with me.
Make sure he pays. And make sure she doesn't get any funny ideas. Okay?
Hi, Baba.
You don't happen to have a gearbox for my Cadillac?
I have a 400 gearbox for a Cadillac. Want to have a look?
-Wow... -Yup.
-How much? -15 big ones, and it's yours.
That's a bit steep, isn't it?
-So you know Baba? -Yup. We just moved in.
The toilet has frozen over, so Baba lets us use his.
So you're here to check out the box.
Ten thousand, and it's yours.
What...
Okay, I'll let you have it for thirteen, but then I'm being way too nice...
I think that's it, but you can count it if you like.
Let's shake on it. Congrats on a damn sweet deal.
What about a guarantee?
Do you think I'm some fucking Volvo car salesman?
Nice dog.
Cute, guys, but where's my fish? Or did the dog eat it?
Ivan says, "First you pay what you owe."
"And then we talk about more fish."
I will pay. Later. I've got big credit.
Ivan says your credit is finito.
And that is no good.
My credit is fine, you "pisshead".
That was close. You almost pissed in your pants, "conehead".
What are you laughing at, "shithead"? Where is my fucking fish?
Smoked. Just like you.
I haven't got time for jokes, man.
Where's my 20 K that Ivan and I agreed on?
Or do I have to ask in another way, man?
Suck on this, you assholes.
Smoking kills.
Look at this! Looky, looky!
Bo-Gunnar Stålnacke is dead. I talked to his wife.
She'll sell it dirt-cheap if we make a quick deal. Great, huh?
I've worked there. She likes me. I'm sure we'll get a good price.
Let's go there and check it out. We are moving!
Is that such a great idea?
If you're interested, I want 15,000 under the table.
I'm putting it on the market on Monday.
I have such a wonderful feeling about this.
-What do you think, Jojo? -Mmm...
Too bad there's no garage.
-"Garage"? -Yeah.
This is...so not okay!
A garage? Come on, Jojo. Just tell me you don't want to instead.
Make up your mind. Do you want to commit or not?
Or I'll just take the money and buy that house myself.
Way to go, Jojo.
Baba... I need money.
Thirteen thousand.
-I'll do anything. Well, almost... -Sh!
-Paint. -Paint?
-Problem? -Course not.
Sure...
Paint, brush - there.
The ceiling.
Is she all right?
Yeah. Same old, same old.
Hi.
Where have you been?
I've been working. Making some money.
-Don't lie. I'm not lying.
Oh, yes.
Oh, yes you are.
Whoops.
You wanted me to fix the car, and I found a gearbox...
The car?!
Jojo... What the hell were you thinking?!
That money was to buy a house!
Hey, Anso...
I can see why you think it was a lousy idea...
But you told me to fix the car, and I did!
We're never going to move, I just know it.
What kind of a job is it?
Just a job.
Where?
For Baba.
For Dad? You're kidding me, right?
I'll be painting.
You know what?
You'll need to do one hell of a lot of painting to make 13,000.
If you do anything else except painting...
...you'd better find somebody else to cook your fish for.
Ouch!
Father always said that it's good to exercise.
Can I return the gearbox? I need the money.
You see, my girlfriend... It wasn't my money.
Well, it wasn't just my money.
-Five hundred. -One thousand.
-What...? I paid you 13,000 for it. -Now it's used.
It's not used! I haven't touched it! I'm returning it.
We shook hands. A deal's a deal.
I think five hundred is... That's pretty harsh, isn't it?
I'll give you 1,000 kronor, but I'm being way too nice.
-10-5. -11-5. The serve would've gone in.
10-5! It missed over there.
BABA'S CARS
Morning!
-Fucking pig! -What the hell are you doing?
Fucking pig color! Just look!
Look! Look!
Why, Jojo? Why?
See for yourself.
Here! Open it.
"Ceiling. Color: white."
A friend gave me a good price.
That crappy bastard...
Jojo, you can't trust anyone these days.
I'll make him drink his own pig color. All the cans!
-Need help with any more painting? -Huh?
What a crappy crossword.
Ouch! I can't put this shit together. Don't you have any pick-ups?
"Loves hasty without sty." What kind of crap is this?
Hello?
Arrange this.
-How many? -Ten.
-Bring in the boxes. -Okay.
Baba's Cars.
-Do you buy cars cash? -What do you want?
I'd like to sell my car fast. -What do you have?
-A Cadillac. -How many miles? How many horse?
Yes, "horse"!
Listen... The car is black, okay? I don't have time for details.
You come, you want, you pay 75,000 kronor.
Do you have papers? Registration papers?
The papers are in the car. You can write what you want.
The owner is dead. At least to me...
I think I understand. I'm sorry.
Baba's Cars don't do bizniz so... It can be very expensive.
50,000. It is my last offer.
Okay. Maybe I can fix it, next week.
No, no, no, listen! Now!
You come, you pick up the car today before noon.
And no bullshit, or I'll go to someone else. Okay?
He called us stupid names...
That fucking potato head.
Good thing I had my gun in my pants.
But how did you pull that off? How many fucking...?
How many fucking bullets did you have? Double-barreled gun...
You did a double!
The sauna is nice and hot.
It'd be a shame to waste all that heat. I promise, I won't say a word.
It'd be even nicer if she washed my back...
She should be scrubbing Pasi's ass. It hasn't been washed in a long time.
-Want a beer? -Sure.
-There you go. -Thanks.
-Pasi! Want a beer? -Sure thing!
What the hell! Have you stolen Ivan's CDs?
He'll kill you.
Not "stolen" - "borrowed".
Fag music and a fag shirt. Take it off. It's going in the washer.
It's not fag music. Sirpa likes to fuck to this.
This is not a fag shirt. It's Matti's.
All the way from Hawaii. He burned my clothes.
-Who's Sirpa? -My girlfriend.
Matti the schoolteacher's woman.
-And who's Matti, then? -The guy inside the snowman.
-Ah...so that's him. -Yeah.
He was whining about Sirpa and me, so...
Well, now he's not whining anymore.
"Mathe-matic Matti." I knew there was something familiar about him.
Pasi, take off that shirt. You smell like an asshole.
It must be washed at 40 degrees.
It's bad for the colors. The washer's set on 90 degrees.
Now you take it off, or I'll cut it off your back!
And turn off that fucking fag music.
-Like hell I will. It's got balls. -Turn it off!
-Never. -Fuck!
Turn it off, or I'll pull your tits.
I'll pull your tits 'til they turn blue! Turn it off!
No fucking way!
-You're late. -Well, it was kind of a long walk...
Follow me.
Nice dog!
Check. See if you like.
Now this is music.
Let's rock!
37?
What is this shit? We said 50, here is only 37.
If you try to blow me, you are dead. Okay?
"Hello. I'm going to lend my friend Jojo"-
-"standing in front of you, some money, so I can only pay 37."
"That's all I can pay. I'm sorry. Baba."
If I had time, I would kill you, but now I'm in a hurry, so...
You'll live.
Can I get a receipt?
Are you kidding me?
Follow me to the big road. Where I take left, you take right.
Okeydokey.
Quiet!
It was nothing.
Yes?
Ilja! Hi, boss.
What a surprise...
Of course.
Everybody wants fish, eh?
Listen...
Your money is lying and waiting inside a little secret gift from me.
No, no. It's nothing special.
It's just a little surprise. I promise, you'll love it.
Idiot.
-Don't you know how to drive? -What's up, hombre?
I was driving, you know, and then this other car shows up.
He almost killed me! He was driving like mad, and it's not my fucking fault.
It's not my fault. Stop picking on me!
Why do these things always happen to me?
It's the same old story...
Bloody fucking shit snow on the ground! Fuck!
Boss, boss! It looked very much like your Cadillac.
It was my Cadillac.
If we take the snow away, I can go. I can drive...
I drive fast, very fast. Like a lizard!
Ay!
I understand...
Boss?
Rabbit. Rabbits.
Mucho rabbits on the road.
There were rabbits all over the road.
It wasn't my fault, boss.
It's time for a cup of tea. What do you say?
Open the mouth...
The Kebnekaise is actually a Norwegian mountain.
You know, the northern tip... That's the highest one.
The one that the Swedes brag about so much...
It's actually in Norwegian territory. So, the Kebnekaise is Norwegian.
So...
Sweden's highest mountain is actually in...Norway.
-So there you have it. -The customer's always right.
The Cadillac's here.
Shit.
Coupe de Ville, 1970. Now we're talking!
You know, Ford... That's actually a Norwegian car.
In the 18th century, Henry Fjord crossed the Norwegian Sea-
-and went to America and started to produce cars.
They had trouble pronouncing his last name-
-so he skipped the "J" and he became Henry Ford instead.
But he was Norwegian!
Hello, my friend. Did it go all right? You're early.
I used to play for the Norwegian national handball team, too!
-Would you like to see the car? -No, that won't be necessary.
I know these cars like the back of my hand.
It's all in the engine. It purrs like a cat.
If there's any problem, I've got my toolbox. I'll fix it!
Would you like a receipt?
Nah. That won't be necessary. I've got black oil money, you know.
Norwegian currency! The best currency in the world.
-Nice doing business with you. -Thank you.
Thanks. Would you bring my thermos? You can keep the sandwiches.
Norwegian gas. The best a man can get.
It's like medicine, you know.
Dear car dealer... On behalf of the Kingdom of Norway-
-I would like to thank you for giving me the opportunity-
-to buy back this fantastic Coupe de Ville 1970-
-to the Kingdom of Norway.
There!
Now it's ours!
Ouch! Boy, that's hard.
I'll have to re-upholster this seat.
These coil springs are spiraling up my butt.
Start it.
Yes.
Hold on!
Your thermos!
Idiot.
Well, well...
Want to smell it?
It's important, Jojo.
It's important to recognize the smell of money.
-The nose is a man's best friend. I'd rather not.
-Nice letter, by the way. -"Nice"?
It was great!
She would've killed me if she'd had the time. Here we go again...
Like when you sent me to sell that car with no brakes. I almost died.
And you sold me a Cadillac with no gearbox. Get a grip!
It's bizniz, Jojo.
And that's why Anso won't have anything to do with you.
Don't you ever get that?
I may not be the greatest Dad in the world...
...but I'm trying my best. I'm trying, Jojo.
If only she'd give me a chance...
You've had thousands and blown them.
You have to find a way to make money without risking our lives.
Yes... lt'll be all right.
Here, Jojo...
Thirteen thousand in advance.
But...
You have to re-paint. And three more pick-ups...
-Okay? -Okay.
-Just one more thing... -And...
Don't you worry. She won't need to know.
It stays between us men.
We did not think she'd leave, but yes she did...
We felt dirty, and we...
I understand, Ivan, that you are angry.
I'm sorry we fucked up. -You fucked up.
It's time for you to get fucked.
Come on! A little bit more to the right!
To the right! That's great, that's great, that's great...
More pushing, lardass, and less talking.
A sauna, huh?
Search the house and find out where she is and what she's done to the car.
I want my car back, or I'll be sad. Devastated.
Well, she broke my heart...
Do what you want with her...
But I must have my car back.
My little flower...
Are you stressed?
No...
Does the stereo work?
Yes...
It's my girlfriend's...
Personally, I listen to metal...
Synth metal.
Okay. Let's see if it'll start.
Shit Alabama, it works!
-Thanks. -Yup.
That's great. I love working on an American.
If you need a paint job or so, you're always welcome back.
What a beauty.
I would never drive around in that unpainted rust can. No way.
Aha...
"Baba's Cars".
Okay...
I'll give you one more chance.
If you fuck up this time...
...you're credit is finished with me.
And now, be good boys. Go and find where my car is.
Chop-chop.
Where are you off to?
Hey, babe...
Done any hunting?
Taken your scooter for a spin?
Get in.
Come on now, my little sugar pie.
You're in for a ride.
Where'd you get this?
You know... I just got lucky.
-Nu-uh. -Sorry.
Now we can do all those things that we've talked about.
Go to France... Paris.
The Eiffel Tower...
We can buy that house.
And maybe start thinking about, you know, a little one...
And I promise that you won't have to eat fish every day...
Here I come!
One, two, three!
Shit. The batteries are dead. I can only do "paper".
Kukka rules!
Come on, Mousy, and taste Daddy's yummy cheese.
Hello. Welcome to Baba's Cars.
Don't take this personally...
This just needs to be done.
Easy, easy...
I'll make some coffee, and then we can talk...
You've taken a Cadillac that wasn't yours.
I've got a receipt. Look! I swear. I've got a receipt.
Look. Here's the receipt. I have a...
-I don't want to fight... -Everything okay?
Please, not my nose.
Fine.
Listen, Baba, you have to give back the car that you've stolen.
I didn't steal the car. I bought it.
-I have the receipt... -Wrong answer.
Get in the kitchen, bitch.
My boss, Ivan Katchuck, would like to have it back.
Understood?!
We must! Have! The car! Back!
-Three o'clock! -Okay, okay. I promise!
Okay!
Oh, shit...
Give Ivan an inch...
...and he'll take the whole arm.
Bye now!
Anso, are you sleeping?
I love you. I want to marry you.
Fine!
That was your chance...
Hello? Yes. Yes.
Ilja! Hi, boss. Everything all right?
No, no. No problem.
I just have a slight cold.
So, you're coming here in person!
Well no, I'm just a bit surprised...
It's a great honor to finally get to meet you.
No problem. You'll get your money and your present.
Just tell me when to expect you... Hello?
Hi.
-What the hell! -You didn't just go and get the car.
-I did, too. -No, you're lying.
I'm not lying. -My nose is broken...
-...but I can still smell a lie. -Okay...
We met, I gave her the money, then we went our separate ways.
Ouch. It looks pretty weird.
-Did it hurt? -Like hell.
Ivan Katchuck. Does that name ring a bell?
Sounds Russian to me.
There. That's much better.
Did this Ketchup guy fix your nose? What did you do?
You got the car, you left the car-
-but I'm the one who gets beat up. Did I miss anything?
Idiot!
Yeah, maybe this one.
What?
Is it loaded? Huh?
Let's go to the police.
Baba, what the hell...!
"Open during season."
To Norway. Drive!
Hello? Listen... We need to get the car back.
-Stop the car, and we'll talk. -"Stopped"?
No, it runs like clockwork.
-You have to stop the car and wait. -If the car stops, I'll give you a call.
No! Idiot! You have to stop the car!
Hello...?
They have no reception in this country. They should've listened to me-
-and teamed up with the Norwegian Telephone Company.
Well... What did he say?
Well...
He asked me if I wanted some breakfast. I said sure.
He gave me some cheese and bread.
He offered me some wine-
-but I said l'd prefer a beer...
-Are you kidding us? -No, I'm not kidding you.
You can have some...
It's palt - potato dumplings with blood. Good, eh?
Did you tell him that we didn't get the car...
...but that we gave the Arab some time to come up with it?
Yes, what did he say?
Well...
That everything will sort itself out.
It'll sort itself out. They'll come here, and everything will be fine.
-Is that all he said? -Yes...
No... He did say that some Hilja is coming to get the Cadillac.
My dumpling!
For fuck's sake. We'll all be dead if Ilja doesn't get his Cadillac.
A Cadillac's a nice car, but who the hell is this Hilja?
Ilja.
He's not real. No living person has ever seen him.
It's definitely not good if the Cadillac's not here when he comes.
Everybody's got a boss...
But not Ilja. He's the boss of all bosses.
Nobody knows who he is, or if he even exists.
Some say he's just a legend that you use to frighten little kids.
"Watch it...or Ilja will come and get you." Anyway...
If he's on his way here, that means he really does exist.
And we're in a shitload of trouble.
Shit...
Like that snotty old child-eating woman who lived in the woods.
You tried to scare me by mentioning her.
Shut up, you moron!
Let me think...
We can think inside. Ivan invited the two of you, too.
Coming?
The table is set - with caviar and stuff.
Hello?
Hi. Can you hear me now?
I can hear you loud and clear.
-Who's this? -It's me, Baba.
-Ali Baba? -No, not Ali Baba. Just "Baba".
-Baba! -Ali Baba... Like the fairytale.
Do you know the one about the ugly duckling?
Could you turn down the music? I can hardly hear you.
Exactly! This is the best music in the whole world.
I couldn't agree with you more.
Go Norway! Here we come!
Hello? Hello?
Hello?
-Can you hear me? -No, not the troll!
Ali Babaaaaaaaaa!
Hello? Have you pulled over?
-Convertible... -Hello?
Well... Why not?
Hello?
-Hello? What's happening? -No, this can't be...
-I can't really hear you... -Norwegian ice...
It's the best ice in the world.
No, this isn't right...
I can't hear you. Speak up.
Hello? Have you pulled over?
We're on our way.
WELCOME TO NORWAY
I'll tell you a very good Russian joke.
So, two crocodiles...
They fly in the air.
One is red, and the other flies to the right.
One is red, the other one flies to the right.
No? Two crocodiles...
They don't get it. Two crocodiles flying - it's hilarious.
Yes... Please, please. Have some more palt.
You never know when is going to be next time.
As you know, you still have a lot of work to do for me.
But I'm prepared to call it even Steven, if you bring back the car-
-before Ilja gets here. Or else...
Then I guess there is nothing to worry about.
-Do we understand each other? -Yup.
Good.
Thanks for the meal.
You get it, right?
Flying crocodiles...
Hello, my friend.
We'll swap the car.
You'll get another car. A much better one. What do you say?
-Oh dear... -Excuse me!
Do you know this man?
He's an old friend of mine.
-Everything going okay? -He was so happy...
He'd just...
...borrowed my car and everything. Where is it?
He didn't make a turn, so he ended up on the ice.
Idiot!
I'm terribly sorry.
You can fix the car, you know.
When spring comes and the ice has melted away-
-you can just go and get it.
With some luck, and if you're handy, it'll be as good as new.
You know, the Cadillac is actually...
A Norwegian car. Yes, I know.
-You knew that? -Here...
I have other cars, too. Just give me a call.
Thanks.
There lies our death.
Shit...
-What year is this car? -Oh, no.
-Oh, yes. -Forget it.
I'm the one who found it for you.
What? I've worked my ass off to make it work!
Exactly. A little bit of paint...
A Magic Tree...
He won't notice the difference.
Jojo, hurry up! We only have twenty minutes left.
I know!
-Yes? -Hi, honey.
I've found another house for us to look at.
Another one? We just looked at one.
You needed a garage for all your repair work.
This one has a huge garage. It's a dream house with a dream garage.
Great. I'll be there. I just have to finish painting.
-Okay. You will be there, won't you? -Yes!
Great. I love you.
Mmm. Okay.
Whose turn is it?
One, two, three!
Don't fuck with the Kukka brothers!
Now the Arab's got air conditioning!
Don't touch it!
Now you owe me one.
This isn't better than the one we have-
-and Pasi's shirt will ruin it.
It's frozen stiff. We'll leave it here.
-It'd be a shame to just leave it. -It's rusty, too.
-Nothing a little paint won't fix. -Beauty...
-Then you paint that little fucker. -Aha! The Arab's got a family...
Look! A clue!
If it isn't Sherlock Holmes!
More like John Holmes.
-Ture Nordlund. -Hi!
I'm supposed to come and look at your house, but...
I have trouble getting there, 'cause I don't have a car.
I see... But a couple of movers are on their way to the house.
They'll pick you up in three minutes.
-Great. -That's settled, then.
BABA'S CARS - BUYS AND SELLS
My house...
One, two, three...
That's the second time in a row...
-You're cheating. -Stop whining, and just do it.
Great! You're already here.
My boyfriend's late, as usual.
Good thing I saw you coming. You were supposed to honk.
Let's go! l'd like to see the house before it gets dark.
-Should I sit there? -Yup.
It's a bit crowded, but there's always room for one more...
I've said "never again"...
But never say never again.
This is your path now.
I swear. I will avenge you, my friend.
If he wants his car, he'll get it.
Using a whole cheese was maybe overkill...
You got a bone to pick with someone?
Baba bought a Cadillac from a crazy Russian, and now he wants it back.
Ivan the Ruski... He's always putting his fingers where they don't belong.
Ja, it's about time somebody taught him some sense.
In our neighborhood, we expect people to behave.
We'll take our scooters and go talk to him.
Thrashing - that's the only language that antagonistic fucker understands!
-He's asking for a thrashing! -Let go of it!
Sometimes I refuse to believe that you're my brother!
Let's go. We don't have time for family problems.
-You don't know how it works. -I'll take it.
You shouldn't be carrying a gun, because you're crazy.
She's not here. Some movers gave her a lift.
Anybody here need a ride to look at some motherfucking house?
-Anso, where are you? -With some movers.
FYI. I'm really pissed at you. Where have you been?
Honey, don't do anything. Don't say anything. I'm on my way.
I hope so.
Can you find your way to the house?
The reception's bad, but the ad's on the kitchen table.
Hello...?
I know exactly where it is.
Crap reception.
Look! A dead crow.
Shit! This is all my fault! I'm going alone.
Shut up! Just drive!
I think we'd better get a move on.
Ja...
Think we should take the short cut?
-It's probably for the best. -Ja.
Okay...
It's weird sitting here with you guys, not knowing your names.
Hi. My name's Anso.
Pasi Kukka.
Pasi... Hello.
Pekka Kukka.
And what about you...?
His name's Pentti Kukka. He doesn't talk much.
He doesn't like to talk while he's driving.
What a cute snowman.
Are there kids here? Or did you guys do it...?
Yup.
Is that the garage?
Is there a sauna here, too?
Is she for real? Of course we got a sauna!
Ah... Welcome.
Thank you.
-Anso. -Ivan.
Please, please...
-Hello? -It's me. Where are you?
-Anso, I'm on my way... -Listen to me.
-No, listen to me! - This is our dream house.
I want it. The river's right next to it. You can go fishing there.
This is so our house. We must have it.
Anso, be careful!
You'll love it. I promise.
Who else is there?
-Anso? -Hola...
-Who was that? -Hi...
-Who's there? -It looks so cozy.
It was just some guy with a bloodstained knife.
What do you mean?!
You don't have to shout. I can hear you perfectly well.
-What's he doing? -A fish! He's gutting a fish.
That's good news. There's fish in the river.
-What's happening?! -God, you scared me!
It was just some guy who popped up from the floor.
Hello. Anso.
-Who is it? -This is like Santa's workshop.
-What do you mean?! -They want to move soon, I reckon.
The house owner's standing right next to me.
-Let me talk to him! -I think he only speaks English.
-My boyfriend... -Hello?
Hello. My name is Ivan.
Ivan Katchuck.
Your girlfriend, she's very excited...
And she wants you here now. She hopes that you bring back the car.
And please be very, very careful.
It'd be a shame if something happens to such a nice piece of...
How shall I say it...? A nice piece of architecture.
-Don't touch her! I'm sure he'll hurry.
I hope so.
So, can I see the bedrooms?
The bedroom?
But of course. This way.
Is this the basement...?
Oops.
No, don't worry. There's no hurry.
Let her cool down. We'll find her later. My ears need a rest.
You... Go and get her.
You... Go and meet them.
Give them warm welcome.
And when you get the car...
We'll take care of them.
Exactly.
I'll scalp those fuckers. Give them a center parting.
Pasi!
-What the hell are you doing? -Ambush, ambush.
Go and hide.
Come on! Duck down!
Come here, little bunny...
What the hell is this?
Fucking road workers. Blocking a road in the middle of nowhere!
Pasi! What the hell were you thinking?
Yeah. Nice ambush.
Pasi!
Hey, boss.
Bunny, bunny.
Red Riding Hood...
Did you pick up some berries in the forest?
Did you meet the big wolf?
You look a little bit like her.
-Stop the car, Jojo. -Let go! What are you doing?!
-Are you completely deranged? -Listen...
I'm trained for this kind of situation.
Me, too. I'm a trained soldier, remember?
How many people have you killed? Tell me!
How many friends have you watched die? Answer me.
-Answer me! -Okay, I get the picture!
-But I do have my shooting diploma... -Now you listen to me, Jojo.
Eleena, my love...
Why'd you let me down?
You could have had everything...
...if you'd only been more patient.
Look what you've done.
You have made me lose all my faith...
...in the love between a man and woman.
Finally! Finally. Welcome.
It's always nice to get some people here in the wilderness.
I would like to put some tea for you.
-You want some tea? -Ja!
Some other time...
Now I'm in the middle of conversation with a very beautiful young lady.
And, as far as I know, nobody's invited.
So, leave the car and walk home, if you like your life.
But... Hello, hello! Wait, wait, wait, my friend.
We do bizniz. I give you my car, I get my daughter.
Then everything is fine, fine.
What do you say? Do we have a deal?
You want your daughter?
Okay! Okay...
I love this part.
Stick 'em up!
Stick them up - the hands!
I mean, of course, the both of them.
What the f...?
Black paint, huh? Black paint.
Are you trying to fuck with me?
What do you call it...? Black... No, "a black job".
Oops.
Ay.
Okay, easy, easy, easy. We are friends.
Take it easy.
Ah, chocolate.
You just did something very bad.
You woke up a dead man that you never wish to meet.
Very funny.
That is my gun. Please, give it to me.
Give it back to me!
Down, down, down. Down!
You did this...
And I did this. Hop! And I do this.
Very funny.
Where is my fucking car?
This is your car.
Or "was"...
Oh, I'm sorry.
I'm sorry.
Say hi to Daddy...
...and say now bye to Daddy.
You and your fucking cars!
My little flower...
Very good, very good. I'm impressed.
But I still don't know where my car is. Do you?
Do you?! Huh?
Come!
Shut up.
Anso...
Shut up!!
I really want my car.
Please. Please... Where is it?
It's in a lake in Norway. It's by a big...troll.
"Troll"?
-Who's Troll? -You know, "troll".
Are you trying to fuck with me? It's time for you to meet my little baby.
You know, lives in the woods, big fucking nose!
How the hell do you say "troll" in English?!
You still don't have any idea where my car is?
It's in a lake...
...in Norwaaaay!
Getty up, getty up, rise and shine!
I'm cutting the rope, Jojo! Roll over to the side!
I hope he can swim.
Ah... My old good friends.
See if they know where my car is. Okay?
Hey, guys! Let's moon these suckers!
-Huh? -I sure ain't doing it.
Come on, Pasi! Let's show them our asses!
Come on!
No way! I don't want to show it.
I'm only kidding!
Where's the car?!
Do you want to die hard or fast, you fatherless fuckers!
What the hell did you say that for?
It's psychological warfare.
Look how scared they are now.
If you say it in English, you get more respect.
Did you get anything of what they were saying?
Nah. Let the boys sort it out for themselves.
Listen, boys! Let's not fight.
I just think that the way you're acting is no way to act.
You see, Baba is our new neighbor, and he's become our friend.
If you're messing with him, you're messing with us.
You're full of shit, you big fucking Swede!
I totally agree.
You shot that potato guy's head off. It's my fucking turn.
End of conversation. Give me the gun!
You seemed a bit wound up, so I left it at home.
I thought we should talk. That's what Father would've done.
Can't you see they're not interested in talking?
A good thrashing is what those fuckers deserve!
Finn fuckers!
I think you're right, Jens.
They don't seem to want to talk.
And, as Father would've said:
Enough is enough.
And about time, too!
Beauty!
Jump!
-For fuck's sake! Pentti! -Pentti!
Shit!
I'll make a sausage skewer out of you!
I'll get you now!
Fucking Swede!
Do you really think that Swedish steel will work on a Finn?
It wasn't Swedish...
It was Finnish.
Fucking shit!
Shit!
Mommy!
My little flower...
Hey, bro! Just run down that big guy!
Nah, you do it!
-Well, I never... -What about my scooter?
My scooter!
I don't like net fishers.
You should've listened to me. Then we wouldn't be sitting here.
As the Swedes say: This year, we'll have an early...May bonfire.
This river is not big enough for both of us.
Shit...
This is for my house, and my mouse.
Now, you little...
My pumpkin...
Ilja...?
Where's my gift?
Ilja, my friend...
Well...?
Your gift sank in Norway.
There was some guy called Troll...
How do you say "troll" in Russian...?
Troll...
Really good shit.
Anso...
-You can stop shooting now. -My dream house...
-Hey, Jens... Are you still alive? -Damned if I know...
You know... It's not easy to do bizniz these days.
You have to be extra cautious.
Bulletproof, you know.
-Did it hurt? -Like hell.
Luckily, my daughter has a father...
...who's taught her how to score a bull's-eye. That's why I'm still alive.
I didn't aim there.
I aimed here.
And hey... No more bizniz from now on, okay?
I promise you, my little flower.
What a rusty piece of Yankee junk!
Just look at this crappy back seat.
I already have a sore butt.
My little sugar pie wife...
You're my little flower now.
-Shit. -We must do something about the seats.
They're not exactly comfortable.
And we must lose those fatsos in the back seat.
Listen... I can change the seats for you.
I can get you new seats. As a wedding gift. Yeah?
Brand new.
Shit! That's Ivan's Cadillac!
I wonder why that Russian guy wanted to have this car back.
The Russian guy? Fuck him!
Fuck! Shit!
Wait! Come back with the car!
Shit...
This doesn't feel right... Is this really the road to Paris?
All roads lead to Paris. Just drive on.
Paris? What the hell...
You go on and on about Paris. Let's go to Hawaii!
Baba's treat!
Miss! Could I please have another one?